Many of us are Care givers for family members. We spend a lot of time and mental energy on this effort. We know that research shows caregivers are less healthy and have shorter lives than non care givers, but still we persevere in this, our self-appointed task.
As care givers, many of us feel alone in our efforts. Some are lucky enough to have siblings and/or other family members to help in the primary tasks of care giving.
Caregivers on the picketline (Photo credit: Simon Oosterman)
MONDAY APRIL 15TH IS TAX DEADLINE DAY!
BUT, it is not too late for Caregivers to Claim ALL of their tax deductions.
Did you remember to claim medical expenses? Think of all of the over-the counter expenses for medication, durable medical equipment, services, eye glasses, prescriptions etc… Many of you caregivers pay these on a routine basis without the thought of any tax benefits to you.
What about those Long-term health costs such as home health care, meals on wheels or any other co-pays for someone to provide services to your loved one?. These are probably easier to keep track of since oftentimes an invoice is sent.
What about the mileage to and from the doctor’s office, hospital, pharmacy etc…? These are all attributable expenses that can be claimed for caring for a loved one, even if they are not your dependent.
Many caregivers have to get over the GUILT or SHAME associated with claiming these deductions (they are useless emotions that paralyze us).
Here are 3 tips for you to keep track of expenses that can be claimed as a deduction:
Don’t worry, you still have the weekend to prepare an Amended Return if you need to!
What other expenses are you deducting this year? Leave your comment below and pass this on to another caregiver.
Let’s Keep Talking.
It seems that growing up in the urban areas of Jersey City, NJ my family would often have these cute “nicknames” for different diseases that were affecting them. For example, they would say that Uncle Ray has a little bit of the “shakes”, when he was actually suffering with Parkinson’s Disease . Aunt Emma had a little ”sugar” problem, instead of saying she was Diabetic. Years later when I would ask other family members what was the primary cause of death for some relatives, more often than not the response would be – “they were sick for a long time”. Sick from what I would ask? “Arthur would get in those joints and they couldn’t walk anymore, or they had stomach problems, or just bad blood in them” would be their response. This would drive me NUTS! This is clearly a situation of a lack of education about healthcare, disease prevention and how it affects your lineage. I know this is more prevalent in poor, urban minority communities but today there has never been more health information available to the general public. With the internet at everyone’s fingertips, constant outreach by healthcare organizations and health being on the national forefront with the Affordable Care Act, being able to have more healthcare choices, there are no more excuses.
Maybe this just happened in my family. What about yours? Leave your comments below.
As always, let’s keep talking!
There is a saying that the power of life and death is in the tongue. That means that what we speak out into the universe can come to fruition. Also, what we speak to ourselves can be a “self-fulfilling” prophecy. What we say has power; we give it movement and meaning when we give it a voice. As a caregiver, we tend to take on too much, get overwhelmed and then blame ourselves for not doing it PERFECT. Give yourself a break. We are not taught in school how to deal with these complex, emotionally charged instances in our lives. It takes time to sort through. Everyday will be different and it is a new opportunity to start over, do your best and recognize your extraordinary accomplishments thus far.
Starting today, speak love, speak positive affirmations, positive reassurance that you are figuring it out along the way. SPEAK LIFE!
What will your NEW self talk sound like? Let me know in the comment section below and share this blog post with someone who needs a pep talk.
As always, let’s keep talking.
“Those who guard their lips preserve their lives”.
Proverbs 13:3
I grew up watching my grandmother make the most delicious lemon cakes. She never used a recipe and would throw in all the necessary ingredients and it would come out perfect every time. Fast forward 40+ years and I always need to follow some sort of recipe when I bake. I still can’t seem to get rid of the lumps or air pockets. Ugh!
Wouldn’t be great if all we had to do was mix together some love, happiness, peace, goodwill, honesty and we would be guaranteed a happy life? Unfortunately, we can’t get rid of the lumps which are grief, loss, injustice, pain and suffering. I think of it as more of a “cupcake surprise” which is throwing in whatever you have on hand and praying it turns out great. For me, I am going to add a little more love today in my recipe. What will you add?
Some of the more memorable dynamic duos of my generation (Generation X) were : Lone Ranger & Tonto, Batman & Robin, Captain Kirk & Spock, Bert & Ernie or even Thelma and Louise (you get the point). As a caregiver, you think that you are in this web of chaos and mayhem all by yourself. When in fact, there is probably someone right by your side that provides you with support, guidance, patience, a shoulder to complain on and will often tell you THE TRUTH when you need to hear it. This person is often the “invisible caregiver” that gets no brownie points and is overlooked by doctors and other health care professionals since they are probably not directly related to the care recipient. The spend just as many countless hours worrying, assisting you, and care about you twice as much as you care about yourself.
For me,my “side kick” is my HUSBAND (whom I love immeasurably!). He has surprised me with his depth of compassion, unwavering support, honest analysis, common sense approach to these emotional issues. Thanks to him for all that he has done and continues to do.
A Salute to The Sidekicks!
Do you have a sidekick or know someone who deserves a salute for their support, share this post with them!
(This is the third and final post of a series spotlighting Home Health Care which will provide caregivers with an in-depth analysis of the industry and its’ many facets)
Establishing and nurturing a close working relationship between the home health aides, the patient and the family is the goal of every agency when they initially place the home health aide. All is well when everyone gets along. You, as the caregiver (and your loved one as the patient) soon begin to consider them as an extended part of the family as time goes on and the longer they continue to work with you. Unfortunately, when your loved one either goes into an assisted living facility, a nursing home or even dies, the home health aide often never gets closure. They can literally be there one day doing their job and not come back or ever see you or your loved one again and get a chance to say goodbye. The home health aide is never allowed to grieve and is expected to keep going on to their next assigned job.
Home health aides are people to. They care deeply. They develop relationships and can experience the same sense of loss as the other family members. This can be added stress in addition to their own personal issues that they deal with each day. The management at the home care agency should recognize this as a major problem that can affect productivity and consider instituting internal or other support mechanisms for their workers.
3 Suggestions for the home health aide to cope with grief:
(This is the second of a three-part series spotlighting Home Health Care which will provide caregivers with an in-depth analysis of the industry and its’ many facets).
For those of you that are part of the 40+ club will remember the 80′s disco hit by Donna Summer (The QUEEN OF DISCO) “She works hard for the money, So hard for it honey…”
can relate to those words when I use them to describe home health aides who have the tremendous patience and skill-sets to work with the elderly and physically challenged each and every day. They perform a variety of tasks (which varies from state to state) such as: bathing, feeding, dressing, serve as companions, assist with therapy exercises, change a wound dressing, housekeeping, laundry, prepare meals, care for skin, or help with braces and artificial limbs.
What may surprise you is that the median starting pay across the country is $20, 170 per year or $9.70 per hour. (FYI – the average cost that YOU pay for home care service from an agency is $21/hour)
The industry is composed of 90%+ female workers, have a high-school diploma (some less) & no work experience needed to get started. According to the website for the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, they project a job growth of about 69% by the year 2020 in order to handle the demand for home care by the current Baby Boomers and Generation X workers who will be retiring by then.
Why should you be concerned? The industry has a high turnover rate of almost 50% because of the low pay, high levels of stress, high rate of injuries and the emotional demands of the job. Many of the home health aides that work with agencies find it difficult to take care of their family with this low salary and believe it is not a “livable wage” for them. They often talk about the lack of overtime pay and low number of hours available per worker. Why are YOU the consumer paying more than what THEY are getting as a salary? Business overhead costs, administrative costs, benefits, continuing education costs & uniform expenses that provided to the home health aides. An article published on the The New York Times website on February 8, 2012 talked about the “quiet” campaign by home care workers for federal protection that would include them (& other domestic workers) in the federal Fair Labor Standard Act that mandates minimum wages and overtime pay for most other workers. They have been excluded for over 40 years. The Clinton Administration proposed revising the law, the Bush Administration shut the process down & the current Obama Administration has yet to do anything with it. In December 2011, the federal Department of Labor took the most recent step by proposing revising the Fair Labor Standards Act to include most home care aides. Now they need Congress to act on it.
The previous “DO NOTHING 112th Congress” that just left office – DID NOTHING. Surprised?
(Note to the 113th Congress: You will probably need some of these workers sooner than you think!)
I think all the home care workers need a raise. What do you think?
(This is the first of a three-part series spotlighting Home Health Care which will provide caregivers with an in-depth analysis of the industry and its’ many facets
There are many decisions that need to be made by caregivers throughout this emotion journey. One of the first things to consider for a loved one is whether to have in-home health care assistance. When you first do the research about what is offered locally, you encounter a lot of confusing and complex information. This post will attempt to simplify the process for you.
If your loved one is currently hospitalized, it is imperative that you have a honest discussion with their doctor and the discharge planner. He/she will begin the conversation with the diagnosis of “blah, blah, blah”, then your eyes will start to glaze over at that point. You are wondering what it all means in practical terms when you get them home. “Will they be able to bathe, dress, feed and maneuver by themselves once I leave their house?”. That is the million dollar question! Do they need to go to a rehabilitative facility for a short period of time to receive physical therapy or other care before they return home? If not, is this condition temporary and expected to improve with the assistance from skilled nursing & home health care?
If you as the caregiver have elected to cover the cost, then you need to consult with only your budget. If you are like most people, you are wondering what your loved ones insurance will cover. If your loved one has Medicare (or a Medicare Advantage Plan), you need to know what the plan limits are for home health care. Medicare is very specific about requiring that your loved one need skilled nursing care (care that is administered or under supervision of an RN or LPN as ordered by the treating physician) or physical/ speech therapy. The care that is needed should be only for a part-time or intermittent basis, NOT 24 hour nursing care. If all your loved one needs is companionship or assistance with feeding, bathing or dressing each day – Medicare WILL NOT pay for that. They must also need skilled care related to their condition. If your loved one has Medicaid coverage, their specific state determines the criteria and services that is covered under this program. Check with the local AAA (Area Agency on Aging) in the county that they live for more information.
This is your final consideration and there are pros and cons to each.
Private Agreement
|
PRO |
CON |
| Flexible schedule & care option | Less accountability, no replacement when absent |
| Negotiable pricing | No oversight with cost or billing |
| Word of mouth referrals | Little to no credentials or formal training |
Agency Worker
|
PRO |
CON |
| Predictable schedule & care plan | Limitations on their duties |
| Replacement workers available | Too much change, compatibility |
| Close supervision by Nurse | Higher overall cost |
| Agency certified & regulated by Feds |
Let me share with you a brief story of my experience. I worked for a home care agency for several years and was very well aware of their services, knew the workers personally and witnessed their extraordinary patience and care they showed to their patients each day. When my father was being discharged from the hospital from his kidney surgery, he needed some assistance and I could not take another day off from work. I set up the home care service to start the day after he arrived home. The home health aide rang his doorbell, he asked “Can I help you?” She replied that she was the homemaker assigned to assist him for the day. He said, “No thank you, I don’t need you to take care of me” and went back into the house and proceeded to call me. Needless to say that was not a pleasant conversation. What I neglected to do was get HIM involved in the decision making process. Don’t make the same mistake I did!
Making this decision for caregivers can be a daunting task and there are no easy answers. Just a lot of considerations.
How will you decide? Please let me know what your experience has been.
I have found from working with caregivers and my experience that Caregivers live in a somewhat parallel universe that looks just like earth – going through a cycle. They tend to talk themselves into believing a couple of things that if they were on the outside looking in to this other universe would know that that is not rational thinking. The 3 most dangerous lies that caregivers tell themselves in this parallel universe is:
Unfortunately, there are no easy answers and it can and will be different for each person. We must continue to not live outside ourselves, be in the present and share our experiences with our health care providers, our families and others. You are probably either a current caregiver, a former caregiver or soon-to-be a caregiver. Welcome to the New Universe – we’ve been waiting for you!
Let’s keep talking.
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